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2004-08-18 - 3:14 p.m.

Last night I was feeling sort of sick so I didn't really sleep. I called in sick and was hoping for a day of resting up and recovery. But apparently no one at work can get along without me so they called me and bothered me, asking for this and that until I said "I'm just going to come in".

When I get to the office there's an email saying my corporate resume has been rejected. You see, we have this total pain-in-the-ass-beyond-anything-you-can-imagine portal thing they want us to use to post our "corporate resumes". This portal is a crappy piece of off-the-shelf trash that was designed by retarded monkeys. We are supposed to use this thing to post our resumes but they have some Nazi-esque rules about formatting that I totally do not understand. Apparently things like bullet point size cause your resume to be rejected. (The bullets have to be 14 pt Times New Roman, but the text, that must be 12 pt Times New Roman.)

I have people harassing me to get my resume uploaded but no matter how hard I try my format isn't special enough for them so it gets rejected. Keep in mind I have actual real work to do on top of this so I don't have all day to spend figuring out how I can make my resume awesome enough for them.

The person who is in charge of this stuff won't say specifically what is wrong with my resume, she just keeps emailing me asking if I have the formatting document and then resending it to me just to be sure I have it.

There's also an email in my inbox reminding me that I have not yet signed up for the 'Insuring a Respectful Workplace' training. This training is some new required thing for everyone at the company. I am sure it is some BS lecture about how it isn't appropriate to grab people's asses in the office, or some such nonsense everyone already knows about. It's amazing what corporate trainings I am forced to sit though. I once had to spend 3 hours in a training out Microsoft Outlook!

Lastly, there is the one millionth email this week about charge codes. We are on a new contract and we have an amazingly complex and elaborate set of rules about what to charge with what code.

These are like 30 digit codes where 1 number varies depending on some really specific rules. That, in and of itself, is annoying, but just to make sure no one ever really figures out the system, they change it every few days, thus all the emails.

I need another vacation.

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