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2004-03-19 - 11:49 a.m.

I have the misfortune of being assigned to work with a database person who apparently needs incessant hand holding. This project manager wanted some application changes that really are database changes, but trusty Warrior Geek will still get it done. Sure I pointed out that it's really a DBAs job to make these changes but the project manager would like me to work with the DBA to get it done, in other words, babysit the DBA. Sure, no problem.

I made a few minor changes to the application that were actually doable on my side, mostly changes to text that a chimpanzee could have done, but that's ok. Then I sent a request in to the DBA explaining what changes were needed. The following ensued:

Phone Call 1:

Big Baby DBA: Hi I see I am supposed to write this database function for you. So it's supposed to do this right... (reads me the text that is printed in the work request ticket).

WG: Yep

Big Baby DBA: OK

Visit 1:

Big Baby DBA: So I wrote your function. Let me explain what it does.

WG: (thinking to self, hopefully it does what the work request said it should do, why are you at my desk?!) Okee

Big Baby DBA proceeds to explain what the function does in excruciating detail, Warrior Geek feigns interest.

Foolishly thinking we were finished I sent the baby on his way. Later I discovered a bug in his code. I sent him an email telling him what the bug was and requested he fix it. This brings us to visit 2.

Visit 2:

Big Baby DBA: So this sort function doesn't work?

WG: Yep ( that's what my fucking email said, remember?)

Big Baby DBA: So you want me to make it sortable?

WG: Yes

He goes away back to his desk, calls not 5 minutes later to tell me it's now sorting.

Phone Call 2:

Big Baby DBA: It's sorting

WG: That's great, can you just email back with the new script name so I can sent it to test.

Big Baby DBA: It's 000004362QJ.SQL

WG: OK, could you just send me that in email, I don't want to misspell anything.

Big Baby DBA: Alright

I think this is why it takes me half as much time to do the work that it takes everyone else. I don't need 2 phone calls and 2 desk stop bys for a 5 line code change. I need zero calls, zero visits and maybe 1 or 2 emails at most.

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